No. 2

No. 1

No. 1

Last summer

Last summer, my sister and I cleaned out our mother's house. It was more than an ordeal. It was... something my mother still is not over. And in the times when she recalls that her daughters gathered up her things and gave them away, I have to leave her presence. My mom started hoarding not long after my first brother died in '89, and got out of control not long after that. When my second brother died in '04, she stayed in the house for about a year, then we had to get her out of there.

I'm sure she wouldn't recall the past 19 years of her life that way, but when faced with the task of emptying a house one has lived in for over fifty years, that was pretty much how my sister and I saw it - like rings on a dead tree.

I had, still have the ambition to edit the video I shot during this time, but I'm not even done logging the tapes. It's just taking a tremendous amount of time on top of all the other things going on. So just to keep this project fresh in my mind, I'm going to post some of the footage here.

This is Mom's House.

We are showing our house today, as on other days.

I have never been homeless, but I get an uneasy feeling when I must
leave the house with all of my children.

Sent from my iPhone.

In my late thirties

Where are my thoughts? Where are my thoughts of writing that book the world has been missing. The inspired one. They were here. My thoughts were-

Where are my notes on changing the world? I can't seem to put my hand on anything solid.
It's all gas.

That movie script?
That play? - the one that was going to make me the next Lorraine Hansberry.

That revolutionary idea escapes me.

All I can do now is scratch and try to remember.

Read a book - that I could have written and enjoy the word of a writer in his rhythm.

Dangit! Where are my scribbles? The ones that used to pull me out of the bed one limb at a time.

I sleep now.
Instead of waking up,
I sleep.

I sleep.

TKD

I have taken up Tae Kwon Do. It has been really fun. I tested for my green belt today. I did okay with everything but the board break. I had to hold my own board and break it with a knife-hand strike. After three tries, I had to try a different break. I broke the board with a palm strike. Not quite as rewarding, but I know what I did wrong. I believe I still passed, but this board break is stuck in my craw.

Shortly after I got my green, I went to my first tournament. I lost my first two fights as a green belt. In the video, I'm much more tired than I look. I was exhausted - like I couldn't even lift my legs to kick.

I'm trying to learn jazz piano. I played as a child. I quit when softball tournaments kept me from lessons and practicing. But I'm making an effort now. It's my children that keep me from practicing these days. If I wake up early enough, I've got a chance. What I need to know is what do I do with my left hand.